So it is that time of year… The time where HE COMES home. And people watch Halloween movies.
And a new one, the LAST one (yeah, right) Halloween Ends just released.
(This is a followup post, now that we have ALL the movies… For my original list, click here).
Just watched Halloween Ends. And… I’m ambivalent. The makers behind this new trilogy tried something different with this final movie.
And they used the Halloween III font (the movie that had NO Michael Myers in it) in the titles. For good reason. This movie will be divisive. And justifiably so.
I’ve watched it twice. And It’s… OK. My main problem is they are trying to introduce a new character as the lead, instead of focusing on Laurie or Michael. The original plan was to have Ends take place in the same night as 2018’s Halloween and Kills… And changing the original ending of Kills planned and shown in sneak preview (that had Laurie leaving the hospital to kill Michael) made the writers shift the script for Ends to… Four years later.
It… Doesn’t work.
So, here we go. My ranking of all 13 Halloween movies.
13 Halloween 2 (Rob Zombiefied Version)
Hot garbage.
12 Halloween (Rob Zombiefied Version)
Lukewarm garbage.
11 Halloween Resurrection
Busta Rhymes kicking Michael Myer’s ass. NOPE.
10 Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers
Raped, recast and murdered Jamie. ‘Nuff said.
9 Halloween 5
The movie is an awful follow-up to a great reboot/sequel. It undoes the ending of the previous film and also changes things just to… Change things. The Myers house, for instance, looks completely different than in the original film. Just bad.
8 Halloween 3
The non-Michael Halloween movie. It’s great. I wrote about it previously and you can see that post here.
7 Halloween Ends
It’s right in the middle. It’s just… Fine. It’s fine. I doubt I will ever revisit this film.
6 Halloween Kills
LOTS OF MICHAEL KILLS. Holy shit, it’s wonderful.
5 Halloween 2
John Carpenter famously called this one an “abomination.” No, John, what Rob Zombie did with your characters was an abomination, this is… Pretty good! Not great, but more than serviceable. I’d watch this one if it was on, for sure.
4 Halloween 4
I LOVE THIS MOVIE. It is not perfect and the Michael mask looks awful, but there is something about this one that makes me happy. And the ending was #chefskiss.
3 Halloween H20
Another movie I love, and while part of me wishes it was the LAST Halloween movie, I’m happy that we got more. It’s a good un.
2 Halloween 2018
THIS is the way you reboot a franchise. You wipe the slate clean, ignoring all films but the original, and make Michael SCARY again.
1 Halloween
Like I would not put the original in number one. It is still scary, still works, and it’s a perennial favorite.
Michael in the original is not just evil incarnate… He’s effectively DEATH, personified. Something that is always there. Waiting. Part of the deeper meaning of the original’s ending is when he disappears after being shot SEVEN times (with a six-shot revolver) is that we keep hearing his breathing. Death never dies.
So, there ya go. My ranking of the Halloween films. Watch one or two this October.
Because we are all entitled to one good scare.