It’s that time of year, again. The night HE came home.
I’ve been a fan of the Halloween movies for a long time, ever since I first saw the original on broadcast TV the weekend that Halloween 2 debuted in theaters. Courtesy of Dinosaur Dracula, here’s the promo for that very broadcast:
I’ve seen every one of the films, even the… umm, really horrible ones. Some I’ve seen just once, others I’ve viewed so many times I’ve lost count. I guess I just have a thing for masked killers who are wearing William Shatner’s face. So, for your amusement, my ranking of the Halloween films. From best to worst, and your mileage may vary.
#1 Halloween
How could this one NOT be at the top? It’s the purest version of the “Babysitter Killer” story, and also has very very things that merits any form of criticism. I’ve studied this flick like the Zapruder film, and see something new every time.
#2 Halloween (2018)
This is a shocker for me. I didn’t think I would like the reboot/reset/direct sequel as much as I did… but by golly I did. The only flaws I have with the film are nits, except for the turn that “Twomis” has in the third act (driven solely by the demand of the plot IMO). Can’t wait where they go with the two sequels they are working on.
#3 Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
It used to be higher on my list before the movie that wiped it from the “timeline” of the films bumped it from number 2 spot. Jamie Lee Curtis is really good in this, and while Michael looks different scene to scene because of reshoots (and wears a CGI mask at one point) I still like the effort and the kills are really spectacular. And the ending was incredibly cathartic. So, of course, they had to undo it (a bad habit of this series).
#4 Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers
This was a pleasant surprise when I first saw it. Saw it opening weekend, and was impressed with the tone & story. The final moments were “Oh. No. They can’t…” And they did. They retconned the end in 5, unfortunately. And Michael is SCARY.
#5 Halloween 2
A flawed, direct sequel to the first one, with some good kills and some nice acting by the principal stars. But the whole “sister” thing and the lack of Carpenter’s direction makes it very slow and plodding.
#6 Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Not a Michael Myers movie, but a crazy flick that tried to take the series in a new direction. The plot is ludicrous, but the creepy moments are quite well done. It’s almost time, kids…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7-uC0LDllM
#7 Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
The sequel to the first “reboot” of the series (the previous film brought Loomis and Michael back from the dead), this one has its moments but is kinda… Meh. And the “new” Myers mask in this one looks absolutely horrible. Not to mention that the Myers house they use looks nothing like the one from the first two movies.
#8 Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers
Lookup “troubled production” in the dictionary and you may see this film listed. It had at least two different edits, they completely ruined the character of Michael Myers by making him a zombie working for a cult, and it also stars a young Paul Rudd! The only reason it’s this high is Donald Pleasance gives his last performance, and while he was clearly unwell, he gives it his all.
#9 Halloween (Rob Zombie remake)
I’m not a fan of this take, and this film suffers from the “How did he become X?” syndrome of elaborate backstory plotting. We don’t need to have everything explained, Rob Zombie. Oh, and if you ever see George Lucas tell him the same thing.
#10 Halloween: Resurrection
Ugh. This movie has Busta Rhymes fighting Michael using Kung Fu. Enough said.
#11 Halloween 2
Rob Zombie, thanks for taking the film series in a different direction. If you could explain to me what that direction was, I’d appreciate it.
BONUS TRIVIA: The Halloween sequels 4, 5 and 6 are subtitled Return, Revenge, and Curse…. The same titles used in three of the Pink Panther movies. And in the same order! (When asked, the producers said it was completely unintentional and unplanned)