This is a quick “listicle” entry, inspired by conversations with She Who Must Be Obeyed regarding movies that are near-universally loved that I… don’t. Your opinions/mileage may vary and feel free to disagree on Twitter (@josephdickerson). So let’s go.
The Sixth Sense
I saw the ending coming about half-way through, and almost made the mistake of telling the aforementioned wife as soon as I did. Thankfully I did not and we are still happily married to this day.
The movie does not stand up – a second viewing made that readily apparent, and the characters are pretty much cyphers that M. Night moves around an imaginary game board to make his surprise “work.”
Amelie
Look up the word “twee”. It’s this movie. Next.
Schindler’s List
Yes, I know. It’s incredibly moving, dark, and sad. BUT… it’s also overwrought, bloated and pretentious. The very definition of “Oscar bait.” It was a one-and-done for me.
Casino
Speaking of pretentious… Sorry, but this film is all that and more. The only highlight for me is Don Rickles very good performance. That man could ACT.
Life is Beautiful
The second film that deals with concentration camps on this list, Roberto Benigni’s remake of Jerry Lewis’ unreleased film The Day the Clown Cried is a hot mess and tries SO HARD for those emotional beats.
Requiem for a Dream
This is another dark, brooding and deeply sad film that was another one-and-done for me. The characters are thin, the consequences (for their actions) are horrible and I just can’t stand that there is no hope at the end. Sorry, I like myself too much to watch this one again.
Se7en
I saw this one for free at the opening of a new movie theatre when it came out, and I still want my money back. I hate this movie on its own terms, but specifically hate it for the whole genre of torture porn crime procedurals that it “inspired” on both the large and small screen.
Shutter Island
Like The Sixth Sense, I could see the ending coming WAAAAY before a lot of people did. To me the while movie comes off as Oscar Bait, and suffers because of the Important Acting and Direction on display. Sorry, Leo and Martin. Your day would come.
Interstellar
The first major misstep by Christopher Nolan (hey, I even liked Insomnia). I admired the “real world” take on space travel – until it threw all of that out the window in the third act. Nope.
Forrest Gump
Yes. Forrest Gump. It is number one on my list, and for good reasons. The basic premise of the movie (that Forrest just “walks through” life and all these amazing things happen to him) makes me angry. To me, life is a series of choices – some of them good, some bad. But being the fiercely independent individual that I am (as you may know, my favorite TV show is The Prisoner) the notion that this film promotes is the hard opposite of my beliefs. I won’t rant any more, and I get that most people love it – Great! I’m not most people.