We were SO excited.
We watched the first trailer )which took three hours to download over pre-high speed intenet), ten times. I went to the ToysRUs midnight toy sale where they released the tie-in toys. And She Who Must Be Obeyed was there on opening day.
And within fifteen minutes… We had a bad feeling about this.
Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace was… OK. While it was (and is) divisive, there are still folks who love the film. Good for them. I love greasy cheeseburgers. Doesn’t mean it is good for me.
To me, the obvious fact is… It could have been better. MUCH better.
Hence, today’s entry in Re-Imaging the Reels, where I go back and “rewrite” movies to attempt to improve them.
Improving Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace can be approached from various angles. Here are several ideas, and then a revamped plot synopsis.
Anakin Skywalker’s Age and Character Development: Making Anakin older, perhaps a teenager, would have allowed for a more complex character with deeper emotional and relational conflicts. This age change could have added more weight to his eventual fall to the dark side, making his journey more tragic and compelling.
Real Stakes in the Final Battle: Enhancing the final battle with higher stakes would have increased tension and emotional investment. This could include more significant consequences for failure, such as a greater threat to key characters or the Republic. The battle could have been more strategically complex, showcasing the skills and sacrifices of the characters involved. As it is, it just comes off as just a lot of visual effects.
Minimizing Jar Jar Binks: Reducing the role of Jar Jar Binks or altering his character to be less comedic and more integral to the plot could have improved the tone of the film. This change might involve giving him a more serious backstory or a role that directly influences the main plot in a meaningful way.
Improved Dialogue and Character Interactions: Harrison Ford famously told George Lucas, “You can type this shit, George, but you can’t say it.” Refining the dialogue to be more natural and impactful, with better character development and interactions, would enhance the overall quality of the movie. This includes deepening the relationships between key characters like Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Padmé Amidala.
No “Padme imposter” subplot. It’s dumb. It is overly complicated and adds nothing to the plot.
Darth Maul’s Character Development: Expanding on Darth Maul’s character, giving him more backstory, and making him a more present and developed antagonist throughout the movie could have added a more compelling dark side presence.
Balancing CGI with Practical Effects: Lucas was… Well, lazy. He used a lot of CGI to save time and money, and his virtual sets are (for the most part) fine. But it didn’t FEEL real. While the extensive use of CGI was groundbreaking, balancing it with more practical effects and sets could have given the film a more tangible and classic “Star Wars” feel.
Get rid of the political stuff: Like, all of it. Even the future Emperor Palpatine. It adds nothing to the movie except as a “Hey, look! He’s gonna be The Emperor later! HE’s the Phantom Menace!” NOPE.
Have a different director: George Lucas is a great idea man, but his heart was clearly not in the making of this film. There is a reason the best of the original film series, The Empire Strikes back, is as good as it is: George had very little to do with it.
Get rid of the Racist Alien Stereotypes: You know what I mean.
And here’s the updated plot of Star Wars Episode One: The Rising Conflict
The movie opens with the Galactic Republic in turmoil due to disputes with the Trade Federation. The Federation has blockaded the planet Naboo, which is a key provider of raw material to the Reppublic. The Jedi Council sends two Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and a younger but more experienced Obi-Wan Kenobi, to secretly negotiate with the Trade Federation and investigate the blockade. Meanwhile, Padmé Amidala, the young but astute Queen of Naboo, struggles to find a solution to the blockade. She’s shown to be a capable leader, making tough decisions to protect her people.
The negotiations are a trap, and the Jedi escape to Naboo. There, they rescue Queen Amidala and flee the planet, but their ship is damaged.
The damaged ship lands on Tatooine for repairs. Here, they meet Anakin Skywalker, portrayed as a gifted but troubled teenager. He’s deeply conflicted, showing signs of both great potential and inner turmoil.
He is attracted to Padme, but is unable to break through her cold exterior. Anakin helps the Jedi obtain the parts they need through a thrilling podrace, showcasing his exceptional skills and hinting at his destiny. He forms a respectful relationship with Obi-Wan and they leave Tatooine.
They arrive on the Republic homeworld of Coruscant, where they meet the Jedi Council. Qui-Gon believes Anakin is the prophesied “Chosen One” and seeks the Council’s permission to train him. The Council is wary, sensing Anakin’s inner darkness. After the meeting, Qui-Gon senses that the situation on Naboo has become much more dangerous, and immediately afterwards the Trade Federation threatens to level all the major cities on Naboo if their demands are not met.
The group returns to Naboo, and the plan is hatched. A multiphase attack, with Naboo fighters distracting the fleet while a ground assault is thwarted by a combined Gungan and Naboo ground force…. Jar Jar Binks plays a more serious role, acting as a key diplomat between the Gungans and Naboo.
The Gungans face the landing droid army, Amidala’s forces infiltrate the palace to access the fighters, and the Jedi confront Darth Maul, who is controlling the Trade Federation at the bequest of his master, who remains a mystery.
Anakin joins the Naboo pilots in their attack on the Trade Federation fleet, and impresses many with his piloting ability.
Meanwhile, the duel with Darth Maul is intense and emotional. Qui-Gon is mortally wounded, and Obi-Wan, fueled by a mix of vengeance and duty, defeats Maul, who survives and retreats, hinting at his return.
In orbit, the Naboo fighters are being devastated by the superior Trade Federation fighters, and he Trade Federation ground forces are also winning, killing Gungans and Naboo soldiers alike. Anakin senses the only way to prevail is to destroy the lead Trade Federation mothership, and hears Qui-Gon’s voice in his head… “Use the Force, Anakin.” He goes on a kamikaze dive, headed for certain death… But he is able to outmaneuver all the incoming fire, and launching his only remaining torpedoes he scores a direct hit on the central reactor. The ship explodes, and the droids on the planet are deactivated.
The film ends with Naboo celebrating their victory. Anakin is accepted for Jedi training, but there’s a sense of foreboding about his future. He meets with several Senators, including the young Palpatine, who says , “I will be following your growth as a Jedi with some interest.”