Had some very uncomfortable conversations in my life, and I’m recall one conversation that was very telling. Not about me, but about someone else.
Said “someone else” was someone I was moved under in my company – transferred to from another team. Not by choice, but because of a reorg. The decision was about “ownership”, not about what was the right call. Companies who are in the midst of transformation make such decisions. I know. I get it. Been there, done that.
Before the uncomfortable conversation there was debate around the “ownership” of a design for a product. A product manager was using a third party, when yours truly was supposed to “own” said product design. I came to the meetings and conversations not wanting to upset the work in process, the “apple cart’. I guess I should have been more bold. I don’t know. Been wrong before, will be wrong again.
I asked for intervention and support from my management – and said upper manager decided to follow up on things, after HIS manager escalated matters. He had a conversation with the product manager.
The response was… unfortunate.
My upper manager (my manager’s manager) decided that I had not stepped up enough, not showed enough leadership. Not did what was appropriate. And (finally) did I even WANT to be at my company anymore?
Hmm.
Good points. Maybe.
Not how I would have played it, though.
But then again, I always come from a place of empathy, not judgement. People are imperfect, and sometimes (crazy idea, I know) people have issues. Have problems that they need help with. People need HELP.
Like I did.
Said individual decided to come from a place of judgement, not empathy. Maybe that’s because said individual read an article on managing that directed them to react that way. Maybe that person was burned once before in a similar situation. Who knows? I’m not a mind reader.
I came to this organization with passion and excitement. Then this company transferred me away from a person who was filled with empathy and love to someone who was… not.
Because, “Transformation.” And org chart.
Sigh.
I feel sorry for “aforementioned individual.” Because said person is building castles in the sand. Not supporting their team, not coming from a place of empathy and understanding, but a place of ownership and… Well, I don’t know.
Again, not a mind reader.
Oh well.
Onward.