Thank goodness Tom Selleck wasn’t Indiana Jones.
That’s right: Selleck was the original choice to play Henry Jones Jr., but he couldn’t get out of his commitment (and contract) to star in TV’s Magnum PI. Instead, the part went to Harrison Ford, and the rest was history.
The reason I say “thank goodness” is we DID have a look at Selleck as action movie star, and that first look was in 1984s Runaway. Written and directed by Michael Crichton.
And he’s no Harrison Ford.
Now, to be kind, Selleck is certainly game, and does his best with the material. Alas, it is the material that really lets him down. Michael Crichton had much success in his career and life (RIP), and if you don’t know the name you know the work. Jurassic Park. The original Westworld. Coma. The Andromeda Strain. ER. And, of course, who can forget Congo?
The thing about Crichton, though, is he has a very particular focus and “voice.” He wrote verbose, cold and remote characters… Characters that are really hard to play well. And the dialogue is… rough. If you’ve read the original novel of Jurassic Park and compared it to the movie, you know what I mean. Malcolm’s dying monologue in the book is like Lucky’s speech in Waiting for Godot. Only more rambling.
Crichton both wrote AND directed Runaway, and it’s Peak Crichton. If you want a perfect example of a creator who needs an outside “filter”/editor to make his work “click” with movie audiences, Crichton is Exhibit A (see also: George Lucas).
The plot is a technophobe’s wet dream. Selleck plays a cop on the “Runaway” beat, who is responsible for stopping runaway robots who malfunction and wreck havoc (Hmm… That idea sounds familiar coughBLADERUNNERcough).
He comes up against an evil scientist, played by KISS’s Gene Simmons (his acting followup to KISS meets the Phantom of the Park), who is basically a techno-terrorist. Selleck has to…
Oh, forget it. It’s not worth any more description. The story is fine, it;s just… boring. The acting, the energy, it’s… Meh. The dialogue is wordy, the technobabble is worst than any Next Generation episode. It’s eminently forgettable.
So, why am I writing about it? Because I found a copy on DVD for $4 and wanted to see if it was better than I remembered it. SPOILER: It wasn’t. Though Gene Simmons ate every piece of scenery he could find, and then breathed fire afterwards.
Well, at least I can count my blessings. We never had Indiana Selleck.
Unfortunately, we did have Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull.