Blog of Much Holding

Warning: This post contains extreme geekery and wish-fulfillment and should not be considered as anything more than my blue-sky fantasy on my part. I think it is a good idea, and hope that someone somewhere with the ability to “make it so” is reading…

One of the many things that Star Trek doesn’t have that its rival space epic Star Wars has is a tourist attraction. Star Trek used to have the great Star Trek Experience attraction in Las Vegas, but that has been gone for over 18 months now. Star Wars has the long running (and soon to be revamped) Star Tours ride at Disneyland and Disney World, and Disney also offers the Star Wars weekends special events every year in Orlando.

Yes, Star Trek has a traveling exhibition, which is cool, but it’s not like the Experience was – a must-see destination for Trekkers like me. They are still trying to get the Experience revived but the economy – especially in the troubled Las Vegas region – is not helping matters. So, I thought to myself as I was daydreaming the other day, how do you do a permanent Star Trek destination on the cheap?

The answer came in a flash. Retheming.

Retheming is the term used when a theme park attraction is, in affect, “re-skinned”; When a new tie-in or story is applied to an old attraction, to leverage the legacy hardware and building. And no one does it better than Disney.

Disney has rethemed buildings at their parks numerous times, a fairly recent example being when they changed a mostly-empty stage building to the American Idol Experience at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. It’s cheap (compared to building a new attraction), it’s relatively quick to implement, and can draw people in who would not have gone to the “old” attraction before.

I have three retheming ideas Disney can use if they cut a deal to license Star Trek (which would not be unprecedented – Universal licenses Star Trek form Paramount for an attraction in the 1980s).

Option 1: Stitch’s Great Escape. Instead of having Stitch in the center of the auditorium, have a Borg be the specimen that has been captured. Enhance the ride with two or three cast members in Borg outfits browsing through the audience.. and give the audience Phasers attached to their seats that can let them defend themselves. Leave in the dark, scary moments and re-theme the entryway and signage to be Starfleet. It’s already been rethemed once before, why not again?

Option 2: Innoventions. Add Star Trek theming to Innoventions, and surround the new inventions to a Star Trek scenario. Have the cast members don the red, blue and gold tunics and divide the areas into science, engineering and command. Sell Star Trek merchandise in the carts in front of both entrances.

Option 3: Mission Space. This is one of my favorite rides at Epcot, and features a great spaceflight simulator that (unfortunately) not a lot of people ride nowadays. The thing is, the ride uses a fictional space agency and a futuristic space ship you pilot…. So how hard would it be to replace the agency with Star Trek and the space ship with a long-range shuttle in the ride film? Not very, I think. Rebrand the whole thing “Starfleet Academy”, put the cast members in Trek uniforms, and then rebrand the Advanced Training Lab play area and gift shop. Heck, you can even add on to the building and create a quick-service area/bar like Quarks (from the Star Trek Experience) or you can use the nearby (and mostly abandoned) Odyssey Center for the new Quarks Bar and Restaurant… Or a Star Trek museum.

It’s this last option – rebranding Mission Space – is the most ambitious and the one that I think would resonate with the most folks (it would also take away from the stigma the ride had after two people died on it the past few years). Of course, all this would cost money, and Disney is already tying up a lot of cash with a refresh of Fantasyland…

But I can’t help that it would work. As we saw with last year’s Star Trek reboot, a lot of people still love the property and a lot of new fans were created from the film. It would be expensive but not THAT expensive. And it could live up to the promise of Epcot, the city of the future. What’s more futuristic than Star Trek?

Anyway, it’ll probably never happen. But a man can dream…

Since I have been traveling quite a bit lately I have started reading more, to fill flight time. I have always been fond of biographies because they provide interesting “behind the scenes” perspectives, and I usually focus on biographies of actors and moviemakers because, well, I’m a geek. I just finished one biography and am working on another, and wanted to post my quick thoughts on both.

The View from the Bridge by writer/director Nicholas Meyer is a great look at his career, from writing the great Holmes novel The Seven Percent Solution all the way through his writing and directing of the Best Star Trek Movie Ever, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and the subsequent sequel Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Anytime you hear someone say “only even-numbered Star Trek movies are good,” you can point to Nick Meyer as the main reason for that (he also co-wrote Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home).

Meyer is witty, self-deprecating and tells some great yarns about his career (his segment on how to direct Shatner is worth the price of the book in and of itself). If you are a Trek fan, or a fan of Meyer’s work outside of Trek (his Time After Time is an underrated classic), you need to get this book. Highly recommended.

Roger Moore has put out a great biography, My Word is my Bond, and if you know anything about the witty and charming Moore then you will know that all that brilliance is on display in his bio. From his early days as a contract player, all the way through the Saint and (of course) James Bond, Moore covers it all and is also very very funny. Buy it if you can.

Here are some pics of the nice model that came with the Star Trek blu-ray set I purchased at Target. It’s an exclusive and the disks fit in the saucer section. Nicely done…

Being a big fan of The Shat and Kevin Pollak, I couldn’t NOT post this shaky hand-held video footage of Pollack talking about his collaboration with William Shatner on his book Get A Life… on how to impersonate William Shatner.

Caution, a naughty word or two is said in the video…

Had to post this, it’s video that some wonderful person posted from Leonard Nimoy’s Sunday panel at Dragon*con that a certain starship captain barged in on. And by the way, the voice from the crowd yelling “4″ and “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” – that would be me.

Wow, I shouted at Shatner, Nimoy and Terry Gilliam at Dragon*con… Not bad.

Atlanta’s Dragon*Con 2009 is now in the books, and here, in abbreviated form, are my impressions of the good, the bad, and the ugly… Mostly good, cause I had a blast. Please keep in mind I did NOT do anything after 6:30 at night on any of the days of the con because I went with my 11-year old and he tires easily…

The Good:

The Battlestar: Galactica cast

These guys are just the best, and I especially appreciated the addition of Aaron Douglas and Michael Hogan to the guest list, filling in for Edward James Olmos as Olmos is shooting his part in the upcoming Green Hornet movie. Of all of them, Mary McDonnell was a highlight for me – I adore her work, and have been a fan since Dances with Wolves. I told her when I met her yesterday “Dang you, you made me cry (at the end of the series)” and she replied “well, that’s what we do, we wouldn’t be very good at it if we didn’t.” The. Best.

Karen Allen

Allow me to lose my composure and once more put my Hyperbole Hat on. This woman is delightful, and I daresay if you could harness the energy of her smile we could have powered all four of the convention hotels for the entire weekend. She is one of the main reasons I married a brunette, and is the best thing about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (a fact that has been scientifically proven by our government’s top men).

Shatner and Nimoy

I had the chance to be in the room and watch them play against each other, on stage, twice… and that was worth the price of admission by itself. These guys are like brothers ore than old friends, and their chemistry is undeniable. For a Classic Trek fan like me, it was glorious.

Terry Gilliam

I have a new favorite memory. I was first in line to ask Terry Gilliam a question at his Friday panel, and I told him how much I loved The Fisher King and asked him if he had any interesting anecdotes about the making of the movie. He looked confused, and my heart sank. Oh, crap, I’m one of THOSE guys – asking an obnoxious question the panelist doesn’t want to answer.

That wasn’t it – “I’m sorry, I could barely hear you – the sound system is very bad. Can you come closer?”

“Sure,” I quickly said, and proceeded to walk all the way from 1/3rd of the way from the back of a VERY big room to the front of the stage, skipping like Pied Piper (as I was leading a couple of dozen questioners behind me). Terry then got up from behind the table on stage and he leaned down towards me, hand on my shoulder.

Before the thoughts OMGIMSTANDINGINFRONTOFTHOUSANDSOFPEOPLE WITHTERRYGILLIAMSTARINGATME had a chance to race through my mind my comedic instinct kicked in.

I started yelling, with him standing less than three feet away.

“I SAID I WAS A BIG FAN OF THE FISHER KING!”

He started giggling, and if you have ever seen lengthy interviews with Terry Gilliam, you know he’s a giggler. He repeated my question to the audience.

“HE’S A BIG FAN OF THE FISHER KING!” he screamed, cupping his hands to yell through them.

“IT’S A GREAT MOVIE!”

“IT’S A GREAT MOVIE!” Gilliam repeated, giggling.

“YOU SHOULD ALL SEE IT!” I said, turning to the audience. Again, Gilliam repeated me.

Before I spoke again, it dawned on me I was now doing a comedy bit. With Terry Gilliam. From Monty Python.

O. M. G.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY INTERESTING ANECDOTES ABOUT THE MAKING OF THE MOVIE?” I finished asking/shouting.

“DO I HAVE ANY INTERESTING ANECDOTES! GOT IT.” And at that, he raced back to his seat and his mike and I sat down in the front row.

Because of that, ALL of the people asking questions were then able go to the front of the stage and ask their question to him in person, even after they fixed the mike and sound system. I saw Terry later that evening, and he said, smiling after he recognized me, “that was fun.”

Best. Moment. Ever.

The Dragon*Con staff

These guys are fantastic. Now, I’m about too get into some of the bad stuff about the convention, and some of these are staff related, but let me tell ya – these guys put on a HELL of a show each year and almost all of them do it for just free admission. I made special efforts this year to be polite, friendly and thank staff members for their hard work. You should do the same next year and in years to come.

The Weather

If you had told me a month ago that we would be enjoying partly cloudy 84-degree days the first weekend of September in Atlanta I would have asked if you were on something and if I could have some of whatever it was. But that was the weather this weekend, and it was perfect.

The costumes

Man, I am amazed at the talent at display – the costumes are, for the most part, fantastic. It’s very surreal when you see someone in a Flash costume that looks just like Alex Ross draw him talking to a Colonial Marine that could have been an extra in Aliens. Here, just look at the parade (and click to see the next two parts):

The BAD:

Registration

WHY does it take 2 hours to get you badge when you PRE-REGISTERED at the event? WHY were there big freaking gaps in the alphabetical line at the end of the queue all the time, with staff people idle? WHY were the signs to indicate what alphabetical line to get into so badly designed and hard to read from a distance?

Starting on Friday morning at 10 AM

I understand that there are a LOT of panels and guests but, Dragon*Con organizers, you had SHATNER AND NIMOY as well as the first Battlestar: Galactica panel at 10 AM on Friday? Really? I know many many people who could not get their BADGE before 11 AM Friday morning and they were there 30 minutes before registration opened that morning. Guys, please reconsider this (or at least don’t put big events on first thing on Friday..)

The lines for Patrick Stewart

These lines were insane, and they felt like they were designed by the kid from Family Circus. I bailed Saturday after staying in the line for 45 minutes, and when I saw the length of the line for his second appearance the next day I didn’t even try. Obviously, Patrick Stewart is a BIG draw, but for these big draws can you at least “count off” to a place in the line that is the if you get in line past this point odds are you will not get in area? And more volunteers are needed to man these big lines, too.

The UGLY:

Saturday’s crowds

This cannot be avoided, obviously, but the number of people who was there by 1 PM Saturday afternoon was INSANE. I mean, “suck the oxygen out of all the open spaces” insane. I’m surprised the fire marshall didn’t barricade off the entire city block and prevent people from coming in (and/or nuke it from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure). Dragon*Con may be getting TOO big, which is a problem in and of itself. The only solution, methinks? A FIFTH hotel for programming, just to smooth the crowds out…

Some of the costumes

Ok, everyone who ever wants to put on a costume and walk around at a convention like me, a quick word of advice. Put it on, and look at yourself in a full length mirror. Not one that is convex and makes you look thinner, an actual 100% honest -to-god MIRROR. Ask yourself, “do I look good in this?” Now, I’m not anti-pudgy (if you’d meet me, you’d quickly become aware of that) but I saw WAY too many people wearing costumes that were unflattering. I’m not against people dressing up, go ahead, have fun… but present yourself well.