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The most ridiculous movie poster, EVER: You Only Live Twice

May 17th, 2009 Joseph Comments

I collect movie posters, and I have seen some extremely silly ones in my time, but there is one poster that is the silliest, most ridiculous one ever created to promote a major motion picture – the poster for the James Bond film You Only Live Twice.

Here it is:

So, let’s step through this image, shall we? First off, you have Bond being fired upon by… lets see… eight Bell helicopters. No, wait, it’s only seven, because one is exploding behind Bond (warranty must have expired). Bond is in his yellow mini-copter, prominently featured in the film… and man, what a great device Q invented – you don’t even need to hold the controls to fly it! You can pilot the vehicle through sheer machismo!

Bond, apparently, is not too worried about the attack helicopters, because not only is he POSING FOR THE ARTIST who was painting this poster (an artist who must have been standing on a REALLY high scaffold) but he’s so cool he’s wearing his tuxedo! No flight suit for him, no sir!

Oh, and who is Bond firing those machine guns and missiles at? The guy painting the poster? Or more enemy ‘copters that are “off camera?”

In the movie, Bond is looking for SPECTRE’s secret base using this mini-copter (nicknamed “Little Nellie” – slightly embarrassed that I know that). In the poster, he apparently is not looking TOO hard… because the hollowed-out volcano base is RIGHT BEHIND HIM. “Hey JB! PSSST Stop posing and turn around!”

This was the movie that Sean Connery very famously said would be his last one, because A) he was tired of playing the part and B) the films had become too ridiculous for him (he went on to do two more). I can’t help but think that a factor in his decision to quit was because he saw this poster at the local cinema – a poster that hangs proudly in my home.

Categories: James Bond, Spys

Star Trek’s gadget conundrum – the future has (already) arrived…

The future has arrived…. Our popular fiction just has a hard time keeping pace with reality.

I kind of feel sorry for the designers and writers of the new Star Trek movie, because of all critical challenges they faced when making the film – how do you reboot a 42 year old franchise? How do you make it interesting to new viewers? How do you please the old fans, some of whom are rabid in their love for the property? Finally (a question that comes to mind because of my profession), what would stuff look like? How would stuff work?

Keep in mind that the movie is a prequel/sequel that is set in the 22nd Century, just like the original series, so as part of the plot we will again be seeing settings, like the bridge, first shown to TV viewers in 1966. What was a sleek vision of the future then… well, to Generation Y? It looks… quaint.

And the sets aren’t the half of it – You compare the communicators, phasers and tricorders Kirk and Spock used, well… as classic and iconic as those original designs are… we can buy an IPhone now. For $200. At Wal-Mart. In comparison… Oh, who am I kidding. There IS no comparison. The iPhone, basically, is the stuff of science fiction, made real.

In many ways, the makers of Star Trek are in the same “problem space” that the makers of the James Bond movies are in – how do you show cool, cutting edge technology (a staple of both franchises) when people have (or have seen) Kindles, Netbooks, smartphones, and touch-screen computers?

The latest Bond film Quantum of Solace had a very interesting early scene where gestural technology (similar to ideas shown in Minority Report) is used in a briefing. The effect was impressive, and you can tell that some thought went into the design. It LOOKED like it would have actually been functional and useful (though, of course, neither I nor any of my colleagues in user experience had a chance to do a heuristic review or usability tests with it).

What is interesting about the scene is two things – first, it looked credible. It is not a great “leap of faith” by today’s audience to think that such a system could be built and used. Second, this movie was set in our TODAY – with such interfaces feasible now, how in the world does a moviemaker project how users will interact with computers in the 22nd Century?

Which brings me back to Star Trek. Knowing full well that the future wasn’t what it used to be, the designers in the new movie updated stuff – the ships, the bridge, the “field gear”… to make it more advanced, more “cool”. And I haven’t seen the new movie yet, but what I have seen of some of the sets leads me to believe there may be some gestural components to the way the systems in the ship are controlled. (Interestingly, many have compared the new bridge to an Apple store.)

But, is it enough? They still have a small black box with a small view screen that allows the characters to scan alien worlds, a “tricorder” – and this, when rumors are flying that Apple will be selling a color tablet that will look, for all intensive purposes, like the data PADD device we saw in Star Trek: The Next Generation. A show that was set in the 24th Century.

Like I said, I don’t envy these designers.

All this reminded of the scene in Back to the Future II when Marty, in the year 2015, shows off his skills at the classic 1980s arcade game “Gunslinger.” Brandishing his lightgun, Marty beats the game handily, and two nearby kids who were looking shake their heads.

“That’s lame. You have to use your hands.”

The exciting notion to me is the idea that, just like we look back at the original’s view of future technology, in 40 years we will look back at this movie’s concepts of the future and chuckle at how “quaint” everything looks.

THAT, to me, is… fascinating.

VIDEO: New James Bond theme, courtesy of.. Coke Zero?!?

September 16th, 2008 Joseph Comments

This video, I think, was not supposed to come out yet. It’s a large chunk of the new James Bond theme… in a Bond related Coke Zero ad. Yes, Bond has apparently abandoned the martinis for diet sodas. The times, they are a changin’…

Categories: James Bond

VIDEO: New Quantum of Solace trailer….

September 10th, 2008 Joseph Comments

The “holy crap!” moment: 1:21 in.

Categories: James Bond, Videos

In honor of Sean Connery’s 78th birthday, here’s a quick review: Never Say Never Again fan edit

August 27th, 2008 Joseph Comments

As I wrote recently I’m really digging some of the fan edits that I discovered at Fanedit.org. One of the first ones I picked out for viewing was a “special Eon Productions edition” (by “Blofeld’s Cat”) of the unofficial James Bond film from 1983 Never Say Never Again. As yesterday was Sir Sean’s birthday, I thought I’d post my thoughts on this version of his last James Bond film.

I watched NSNA a LOT when I was younger… I don’t know why, but this and that year’s other “official” Bond flick Octopussy was on constant rotation in my VCR in my junior year of high school. The story behind NSNA was that the coproducer and cowriter of Thunderball Kevin McClory retained the rights to the basic story and the characters in the original film (after some litigation in the sixties), and he decided to “remake” it with Connery reprising his role after a ten-year absence.

The thing is, they producers could not use any of the staples of the original series – no gun-barrel logo, no Monty Norman James Bond theme, the same supporting cast, etc. So you got a Bond film that felt a little… off.

Well, this fan edit corrects that, by adding back in all of those official trappings (except, of course, the supporting cast), as well as replacing the entire musical score with music from various James Bond films (mostly from John Barry’s scores). There are also some slight edits that trim some of the sillier content (a large chunk of Rowan Atkinson’s performance is now gone, thankfully).

What you end up with is a better movie, but not much better (I think the original was pretty good). The main gripe I have with it is the musical choices. Some of the decisions by the editor are inspired, like using the Pretenders song from The Living Daylights on a car radio, or creating a brand-new title sequence a la Thunderball with Shirley Bassey and the Propellerheads “History Repeating” as the title theme (get it?). But others… well, the dramatic score is a “mashup” from different films and composers, and the style varies wildly – which is distracting. And putting music behind the Bond/bad guy fight in the first hour was VERY distracting, as the original scene evoked similar fight sequences in Connery’s early Bond films.

But all in all, if you are a Bond fan, you HAVE to see this one, as it finally makes Never Say Never Again “fit in” with all the official films. Recommended.

Categories: James Bond, Movies

Discovering the world of fan edits… Star Wars: Revisited

August 18th, 2008 Joseph Comments

Over the weekend I was looking at a couple of articles on The Digital Bits and I noticed a reference to a somewhat new “fan edit” from someone named Adywan called “Star Wars: Revisited.” Curious (the first and only fan edit I ever saw was the first, The Phantom Edit of Star Wars: Episode One) I searched the web and found the trailer:

And then I read the comments – so many people stated “this is the version I will watch from now on” that I got very curious. I found the direct download links at fanedit.org for the DVD as well as lot of really interesting looking alternate cuts of various movies:

Never Say Never Again with the official James Bond theme and music!
An alternate “hybrid” cut of Superman II!
A version of Pearl Harbor without the love story!
Star Trek: Generations with Kirk cut out entirely!
A version of Terminator 3 that doesn’t suck!

The thing is, my initial thoughts were, well, these probably have jarring cuts and crappy audio redubbing.

Wrong!

Star Wars: Revisited is amazing. This guy Adywan has merged all the elements from the special edition, restored shots that were cut out of that version and added ALL NEW special effects throughout. The work, save for one or two cuts, is seamless. I mean, for pete’s sake, look at the new reveal he created for the Death Star (music out of sync in the clip, perfect in the DVD):

It takes a lot to impress me; color me impressed. Now, I’m curious to see… and download… lots more fan edits. Catch ya later, I’m off to setup a permanent rapidshare account…