Twitter Updates for 2012-07-05

  • The grill is fired up, the burgers are cooking, and the fireworks are at the ready. Happy July 4th, everyone! #
  • According to, there are record party levels across the nation!

    Oh, that's a Tostitos ad. Sorry.
    As you were. #

  • Study: 96 Percent of humans would rather be an Animatronic Bear #
  • They are revamping Chuck E. Cheese as a hipster. Is nothing sacred anymore? #
  • Waiting for dusk so I can start the fireworks.

    To be efficient, I will also be using the fireworks to remove an old tree stump. #

  • Pro tip: Don’t watch the movie ALIEN while suffering heartburn. #
  • Setting off fireworks with my sons reminds me that stupidity is hereditary. #sorryboys #

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