I’m going home.
They say home is where your heart is, and that’s exactly right. My heart is with my family, and they aren’t here. They’re in my house in Dacula, Georgia, just northeast of Atlanta. Me? Well, for the last two and a half years, on and off, I’ve been in Sydney Australia, working. My family came over for some of that time, but left in July of last year… they just weren’t adjusting to things here very well, and missed their friends and extended family. Because of my work and contractual obligations, I stayed.
And those obligations have come to an end.
I won’t discuss the details of the project I have been working on here, except to say it has been like all big projects: a series of peaks and valleys. Some days I was standing on top of high peaks, and others I was in deep valleys. It’s what happens. I can’t cast blame nor can I issue credit… it is what it is. Did I learn from the experience? You bet your ass I did. I learned how to be a better designer, presenter, leader, writer, person, and friend. I was not standing in place. I was challenged, and those challenges made me a better me.
While I’m happy to be going home, it’s still hard. You don’t work with people for months and months on end without developing affinities and friendships. I have lost count of how many people I have worked with and met while I have been here, and I daresay that almost every single encounter I have had here has been kind, professional and absolutely honest. Maybe I got lucky, and didn’t have to deal with many assholes. Or maybe, like the Beatles wrote and sang, “the love you get is equal to the love you make”.
I have repeatedly stated that my religion is kindness, and I try and live my life that way. Maybe because of that, people responded in kind. Maybe people here are just nicer than Americans. Who knows?
At any rate, I made friends… lots of them. I won’t name names, because it could make those casual acquaintances I also made here feel slighted. But the people who I worked with most, those I shared the most stress, laughs and drinks with at the local pubs… you know who you are. You are absolutely dear to me, and I love you all.
Writing this is harder than I thought it would be, because something I constantly remind people is that Everything Ends. Life is like that, and the only reason we don’t see the continuing and constant endings is that we are too busy to notice them, too busy living and doing. Businesses, marriages, lives, relationships, families, projects… everthing ends. While I lived here, three people who were dear to me died back in the states, and now that I’ve reached the age in life that I will be losing more friends and family that way… Again, a hard reminder that Everything Ends.
Acknowledging this, and knowing it’s this is an absolute truth… well, it helps me appreciate things more. Little moments. Making friends laugh. A wry, flirting smile from a beautiful woman. A good solid cup of coffee. A great movie. Writing something that matters… like this.
This is an obituary to a time in my life that is ending, and I think people should note such things for the record. Life is gone before we notice it. We need to write some of it down. For posterity.
Another thing that upsets me as I write this is knowing that, when this ends in less that a week… that’s it. I won’t see these people anymore, I won’t work with them, I won’t joke and laugh with them and it’s gonna leave a hole in my heart and my life. That hole will eventually be filled, and that’s the thing that makes me sad… we all say “we’ll stay in touch” and “I’m on skype” and “connect with me” and it’s… false. We won’t be able to stay in touch, because we’ll very quickly have things that come up and get in the way. Distractions and to-dos and projects and family matters and vacations and suddenly…. you realize that you haven’t talked to your friends in Sydney in AGES.
And you won’t call, or write… because you’re too busy. Maybe later, you think to yourself.
And then… well, you know what happens.
So, I’m not fooling myself. This is a true ending. I will never be as close to these people again. I’ll be available, always… through my site, through twitter… heck, just google my name, and you can find a way to reach me. And I’ll try my level best to keep in touch… but, as I said… we’re half a world away from each other, and that makes it hard.
lt’s been a heck of a ride, and I will probably never have such an opportunity again. I think back to how it all started and I still go, “How the hell did THAT happen?” My dad, before he passed away, was dismissive of the opportunity that this project presented to me. “Aww, it’ll never work out,” he told my brother-in-law.
That’s my dad, it’s who he was. He could never be positive about what I was doing, almost unhappy that his son could surpass him in any way, and he was just… well, unkind. He’s gone now… but if he was here I’d tell him this:
“Yeah, there was a lots of problems, and there were tough times… but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Because I worked with some of the best people I have ever known.”
I’ll use two pop culture metaphors, to close: I’m a big fan of the classic sitcom MASH, and I’ve been rewatching some of the early episodes as they are rebroadcast on Australian TV. While I would hardly consider anything I have gone through here as bad as the Korean War, the one thing that I noticed is that my team has a lot in common with those people stationed at the 4077th. Like Hawkeye and the rest, we were thrown into a crazy situation and asked to do our best… in sometimes very bad conditions. When everyone said their goodbyes on the show, they had obviously grown into a family.
It’s like that, here, too. I cherish these people. They’re my family.
Second pop culture reference: Like Kirk at the end of Star Trek II, I will have to come back to Sydney someday… to see what I started and worked on here ends up becoming. Something good, I hope.
And, like Kirk at the end of that seminal film, I feel… young. And ready for the next challenge that life brings me.
Bring it on.