This is why I love Twitter… #wookieleaks FTW!

Today, inspired by the Wikileaks story around the conflict in Afghanistan, Twitter was bombarded by a new meme, #wookieleaks (or, more properly, #wookieeleaks). Tweets that referred to the “declassified documents” of the Star Wars films. Being a good and proper geek, I had to join in. Here’s my posts (and yes, I did get carried away – I did start out in journalism, after all…)

  • Some Empire officials companied of Imperial dress code, saying that grey, black and white was too harsh. “I’m an Autumn…”
  • Claims of segregation of black stormtroopers from white stormtroopers unfounded, Empire officials say…
  • Empire officials surprised, thought “the Force was with THEM…”
  • Exhaust port manufacturer also produced shield generators used on Endor, officials say.
  • Senior Empire officials complained about Darth Vader getting his own theme, leaving them without any background music.
  • Industrial designers accused of putting “way too many deep trenches and no guard rails” in Death Star.
  • Reports claim that Princess Leia was tortured by Darth Vader by putting her in the “comfy chair.”
  • Rumors of an “expanded universe” simply untrue, officials say.
  • Princess Leia’s debriefers chucked when she said she told Han “You came in that? You must be braver than I thought.”
  • There are numerous reports of stormtoopers abandoning their posts, especially when distracted by slight innocuous noises.
  • Stormtrooper armor manufacturer produced helmets that limit visibility, making troopers shoot blindly, hit their head on doors
  • Documentary “Loose Empire” claims the destruction of the Death Star was an inside job to inflame anti-Rebel sentiment.
  • Empire techs never fixed manufacturing defect in Darth Vader’s breathing apparatus, because, “He sounded so badass.”
  • Declassified documents note that Empire officials “analyzed their attack, and there was a danger” before Death Star destroyed.
  • Stormtrooper armor manufacturer produced helmets that limit visibility, making troopers shoot blindly, hit their head on doors.
  • Nerf herders files defamation suit against Princess Leia.
  • Exhaust Port manufacturer implicated in Death Star explosion. CEO blames third-party contracting firm for design flaw.